Friday, December 13, 2013

Incredible India - Population

Incredible India... no less incredible because of the population density. We are in Rajastan... that has a population exceeding 66 million. Geographically, Rajastan is about the same size as New South Wales... and (as you know) NSW has population of approximately 7 million people... Rajastan has roughly ten times the density of people compared to NSW.

So, in Australia, when you expect to see one person getting out of a car, in Rajastan you will see 10. If you expect to see two people sitting in a van... here, you will see 20. When you expect to see a team of 5 people filling a hole in the road, Rajastan will provide will provide 50...you get the drift.

This numeric relationship was reinforced this afternoon. We had left for our day's outing with my hotel room key in my pocket. As a result, our room was not serviced. Upon our return, we realised our mistake and asked for the service. Instead of one person coming to tidy or room, we had a team of five come to the room... one with a mop... one with a duster... one with a towel to look at the bathroom... one with clean bed linen... and of course a supervisor. Indian industry at its best!

At the risk of stereotyping, here is advice for those of you thinking of employing an Indian for your business or home services.

Employment Recommendations
Child Care
As a general rule, Indian parents show skills that are 'above average'. Children appear to be happy and well behaved... compared with other national communities.

Gardeners
We have seen iridescent green fields in the middle of barren country. We have seen men and women searching for weeds... crouched so close to the ground they appear to be using magnifying glasses in their search. We have seen women standing in the fields ready to chase away any bird that even thinks about landing near the crop. We have seen farmers gazing over their crop with a satisfied look... this has been a good year for rain in Rajastan.

Motor Vehicle Drivers
In impossible conditions, Indian drivers get through traffic jams... swerve around potholes... avoid wayward cattle... and still keep to their timetable. Most of the vehicles show signs of damage... but I think most of the damage was done in World War One. Drivers of new cars cope with chaos with gleaming duco intact.

Employment that is Not Recommended:
Municipal Town Planner
The availability of public toilets, parks, car parks, level streets, kerb and guttering... is somewhat limited in India.

Municipal Garbage Collection
Smaller villages may be the exception... but city folk drop their plastic bag full of garbage anywhere on the street. The cows head straight for new drop-offs... and eat anything that is green. We have seen cows eating cardboard. After the cows have had a go... the pigs roll up to recycle the protein garbage. After the pigs, the dogs will have a sniff. After dark, the rest is left for the rats. I suspect the staple diet for the dogs are rats.

After a few days, the pile of rubbish is reduced to plastics, bones and metal. The general practice appears to be... leave the residue on the street to be covered by the next layer of rubbish.
As you would expect, Indian men have prime responsibility for World peace... a responsibility taken very seriously... with hours spent in group analysis over a cup of tea... and interdispursed with a game of cards every now and then. These men can be idling away time standing next to piles of plastic. Ten minutes labour would make a tremendous difference to the health and appearance of the street. India needs a version of Ian Kiernan to get everyone to pick-up after themselves.

Police Road Officers
Indians have no experience in this profession... we have not seen any to date. We watched today when army officers became gridlocked in a traffic jam. They abandoned their vehicle, walked to the front of the gridlock and started pointing with their batons. The locals did not take the slightest bit of notice... and kept waiting for the next guy to concede ground to clear the bottleneck. Eventually, traffic flowed again... through the magic of Indian problem solving... no one took control... everyone conceded just a tiny little bit of ground... the problem took far too long to solve... but everyone went away feeling satisfied that their rights and status had been observed.

But the overwhelming advice is... employ an Indian because they are fun people... ready to laugh at your lame jokes... and skilled at making you laugh.

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