Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Sicilian Actuaries and other important stuff

My friend Greg reminded me why Sicilian Actuaries lead the world. Given a population of people, 'normal' actuaries can estimate the number of deaths in a year. Greg pointed out that Sicilian actuaries go beyond estimating total numbers... they can give you names, addresses and dates of death of the deceased in the coming year. (It's a mafia joke... get it... get it.) 

Who invented the 'fork'... you know... knife fork spoon... the fork. Its invention is relatively recent... for most of Europe, forks were not seen before the 16th century. Early writings on etiquette gave advice based on the absence of the fork. Men were advised not to look at a lady's hand while she ate because she may be embarrassed by the fat on her fingers. The advice also recommended not glancing at her face... because she may think that her fingers may have smugged her face with meat fats. Eating with your hands caused social complications. 

Life became more complicated when spaghetti was introduced to the diet. The Turks and their Arab supporters invaded Sicily around the first millennium AD. They bought agriculture technology that benefited the Sicilians immensely. One plant they introduced was a strain of wheat that was subsequently used to make spaghetti... yes, Sicilians invented spaghetti! The invention allowed great value-added benefits to food production... and made exports of this fashionable food a great commercial success. (Sicilians also improved storage methods for cooked tomatoes... but that is another story.) 

But the world was perplexed... how do you eat spaghetti with your hands? Sicilian ingenuity came to the fore... spoons and knives couldn't solve the problem... chop sticks were hopeless... what was needed was an instrument around which spaghetti could be wound... and placed elegantly in the mouth. The fork was born. 

Spread of fork use was not without controversy... initially, upper-class ladies would bring their own fork when dining out. Some had specific instructions regarding the size that pieces meat and vegetables were to be cut... so that the lady could stab the piece with her fork and place it into the mouth without getting fat on her fingers or face. The change in fashion irritated some of the matrons... who complained to the church. 

At the time of the plague, one leader in fork use fell victim to the epidemic... and died... as did her husband. That was proof enough for the irritated matrons... they demanded that the church ban the use of forks... God had made his preferences clear by killing a leading proponent. The church felt the proof overpowering and passed the necessary ordinance. For a time, fork use was a mortal sin. 

So, the next time you are setting the table... with the fork taking the position opposite on the place mat from the knife and the spoon... just remember the battles the poor old fork endured before it could take its rightful place. Next time you elegantly place a food morsel into your mouth without getting fat on your fingers or face... have a kind thought for the Sicilian peasant who bestowed on the world one of its most used inventions... the fork. 

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