We've trudged up and down Britain looking for decent acquaducts... even an amphitheatre would do... well, how about an ordinary theatre... surely the Romans would have provided them with a theatre... even a small one. Nothing! You would think the Romans were in Britain for a holiday. They ruled this place for over 300 years... you would have thought they could have built something decent.
The current English want to make excuses for the 'slight' they have suffered at the hands of the Romans. The English say, "Look at the lovely baths in Bath... look at the settlement in Corbridge... look at Hadrian's wall." To be realistic, these structures would not have made the tourist brochures in continental towns... you look at them... they don't quicken the pulse... they don't catch the breath... they are second rate attempts from the 'B' team of Roman conquerors. You can see better in French Roman settlements that were ranked as no more than hill forts.
The English need to face it... the Romans didn't rank England important enough to make their usual signature buildings of Roman domination.
Why didn't Rome bother to apply their usual energy to leave their mark? Talking with English friends, here are some of their speculations.
Too Cold
In true British fashion, some of my friends have blamed the weather. They say it rains all the time so there is no need for acquaducts. It is too cold for outdoors entertainment... so building amphitheatres is wasteful... the Brits wouldn't have turned up to watch the gladiators... they organise better fights between themselves every weekend. The Brits can't understand the Italian sense of humour... so wouldn't have bothered to attend their theatre. The Romans looked at the weather and said... "We'll be out of here as soon as possible... give it another couple of years... then, back to some warm Mediterranean sunshine."
French Administration
Most of the army and support staff used to rule Britain were not recuited from Italy... but were Gaul, Franks and Visigoths from France and Germany. English friends speculate that these invaders had not read the 'Conquerors Textbook' and couldn't be bothered putting in the usual infrastructure.
Too Quarrelsome
Some English friends have speculated that the Brits showed themselves to be too unreliable to look after long-term infrastructure investments. Alliances between British tribes and between the Brits and Romans were not observed... too much treachery... too much betrayal. The Brits gained more enjoyment from a fight than from homely comforts. The Romans had a phobia about the way the Brits used chariots in their warfare. Chariot speed gave the Brits an advantage in geurilla war tactics. Romans built lots of roads in Britain to move large numbers of soldiers quickly... but still felt at a disadvantage to the chariots. Emperor Claudius even brought elephants with him in his attempt to quell the bothersome forrest dwellers... this must have caused the Brits some disadvantage... it's hard to fight at your best when you are rolling around with laughter.
The English Chanel
All the initial invasions suffered from Roman's lack of skill in handling the ferocity of the Northern seas. The greatest of all emperors... our good friend Julius... embarked on two occasions... and had to abandon his conquest. This history may have influenced the attitudes of subsequent emporers towards investing resources in England. They wanted the tin... the gold.. and the furs England had to offer... but making it a home for true Italians... allowing Brits to be Roman citizens... never!
When the weather cycle started to cool... when grapes could no longer be grown in the mid-lands... the Romans packed their bags and let the Brits run their own show.
The 'dark ages' in Britain were not so dark. Sure, they stepped up the rate of tribal warfare... the Danes and the Vikings stepped up their conquest efforts... but Britain developed its rural economy and enjoyed gradual development for many years over a wide area of Britain.
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