We have spent a lot of time in the high country... looking in hidden valleys... where radicals can ferment rebellion. On numerous occasions, we have seen cows milling in unusually large numbers. The way they look at you gives the impression that they have been caught undertaking something untoward. What are they hiding when they crowding around in close formation. They're fat... docile and dumb... they couldn't be a threat to us... could they? Like some premonition, the words of Dana Lyons kept ringing in my head... Cows with Guns. Just to remind you what could be brewing up there... Dana's words are reproduced below.
Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun
They eat to grow, they grow to die
They die to be eaten at the hamburger fry
Cows well done
Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one
He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue
He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone, in the herd.
Cow doldrums
He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the stakes were so high
Bad cow pun
But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed
He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns
They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung
Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!
He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today
We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die...
Cows with guns
They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun
Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung
Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonald's, have it your way
We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the buffalo, or die
Cows with guns
The President said "Enough is Enough!
These uppity cattle, it's time to get tough"
Cow dung flung
The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns
The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
They chewed their last hay
Cows out-gunned
The order was given, turn cows to Whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar, of chickens, in choppers!
We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the buffalo, or die
Cows with guns
Don I just love your sense of judgement and humour----- and after reading all that-- HE (the author) was interviewed on local ABC radio recently---you show photos of the most docile of healthy fat animals
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