El Escorial - Booking for Panteón of Kings

Note to self : Check availability of booking an internment spot in the Panteón of Kings at the Monasterio de San Lorenzo el Real.

This Panteón is a nice place to be buried... 22 successive Monachs of Spain have come to this conclusion... and I agree. With such large numbers, the availability of free shelves is limited... very limited. There are only two left and the parents of the current Monach are in the 'putrefying room' awaiting the set period (25 years) before being allowed into the Panteón proper. But the availability of further shelves is sure to be extended... Carlos and Sophia are not going to allow themselves to be the first to face the "No room at the Inn" sign... they could start to turf out some of the old folk... they wouldn't mind. In this democratic international age, it would be appropriate for Spain to allow an Australian commoner a place as well. Anyway, no harm in asking.

Why is the Panteón such an attractive burial site? Well, The walls of polished Toledo marble are ornamented in gold-plated bronze. All of the wood used in El Escorial comes from the ancient forests of Sagua La Grande, on the so-called Golden Coast of Cuba. Some 700,000 people each year trudge down the flight of stairs to stare at the 22 interred royals... you would never be lacking for attention. The ambiance is regal... the decorations are to die for... and the company is excellent... lots of blue blood... dried by now after going through the putrefying room.

For my descendants making the arrangements... please take care... there is an adjoining Panteón for princes... who died before taking the throne. This is a waste of time... they even allowed illegitimate children of Kings to be buried there... this is not for me... I'd much prefer Northern Suburbs Crematorium... thank you very much. They don't have the polished Toledo marble ornamented in gold-plated bronze... and forget about the wood from the Gold Coast of Cuban... just give me a brick in North Ryde.